Parenting in the New Age: Love

Creating the Atmosphere

Kathy Newburn

  Working in Triangles we are learning how to bridge between worlds – between that which is above and that which is below, between that which is without and that which is within.  It’s weaving within the warp and woof of the substance of the worlds.

This ability to bridge between worlds might not be natural or easy for us to achieve because the general tenor of our world doesn’t leave much space for such activities. Too much of contemporary life externalizes us, isn’t geared towards inner communion.  So, it’s up to us to make the effort.  But for the young child, this bridging between worlds is a natural process for they have freshly emerged from the world of meaning and still have a large part of their being anchored there. They live, we might say, in a kind of interlude experience.  Unfortunately quite often the attitude towards children doesn’t accommodate this understanding and this demonstrates our lack of understanding of where children are coming from and so instead of allowing children the time and space to cultivate and revel in this in-between state between worlds all too often we try to  pull them too quickly into our world when we’d be better advised to try and enter theirs.  By doing so we would perhaps aid children to retain more of their connection with their soul, which should be the most important gifts that they can cultivate.  

In the hustle and bustle of contemporary life it can be difficult for those who care for children – either in the home or in the school – to create the environment in which children can thrive.  In the book Education in the New Age the Tibetan offers some suggestions for the raising of children that all care-givers can keep in mind, and thereby create those conditions that will allow the soul to filter through.  Of course, it’s not simply a matter of attitude on the part of the families – these conditions could be much facilitated if families were more highly valued in our world and resources were more equitably shared thereby easing the burdens on families today and giving them more time and energy to become actively engaged in both the lives of their children as well as within the school systems.  Life would be much richer if we as a society placed a premium upon the young , recognizing more fully than we do the importance of the early years.

There are four primary conditions that will contribute to an atmosphere wherein soul qualities can flourish within the child. It’s interesting to consider the choice of the word atmosphere.  This word is used in relation to the adults and the responsibility they hold in creating an atmosphere that will be conducive to growth. The atmosphere here is not so much related therefore to outer conditions and what one can provide economically and socially for the child but more so upon the psychological state of those who are caring for the child–the parental values and their psychological state.  We don’t often focus on such things, but what we’re really talking about is the aura of the adults caring for the children.  And although children are somewhat protected against physical abuse, scant attention is paid  to the mental and emotional abuse that so many children suffer.  And often the parents themselves can remain ignorant of the impact which their thoughts and feelings are inflicting upon those in their care.

There are so many challenges today placed on families and these often  unspoken anxieties are nonetheless very real, they are not hidden from the child but in fact are absorbed and felt acutely, even if unrecognized. For children are tremendously sensitive antennas, responding and living within the energy field of that which surrounds them to a far greater extent than is normally recognized. And this impact is all too real. The stress and anxiety of parents and its effect on their children has, of course, been the study of some psychologists, for example the Canadian therapist and author Gabor Matte.  But it is rare it seems for parents to really understand the stresses they may be unwittingly be inflicting on their children..  

The atmosphere that needs to be developed and which should be the birthright of every child, is outlined by the Tibetan as consisting of four primary qualities:

An atmosphere of love; an atmosphere of patience; an atmosphere of ordered activity and an atmosphere of understanding.  These are the qualities that are needed to draw out the best in the child and contribute to the creation of a child with an outgoing, caring nature.  Through an atmosphere of patience on the part of the parents, there is time to meet and respond to the child’s natural curiosity.  Ordered activity comes as a result of offering the child small tasks out of which a sense of responsibility can grow.  And an atmosphere of understanding helps the child to know he or she is trusted and values are taught through conversation rather than punishment. 

The creation of such an atmosphere dispels fear and draws out what is best in the child.  Such conditions allow for the essentially outgoing nature of the child to rise to the fore for when a child is well-treated he or she will treat others the same way. 

The establishment of these  qualities do not in essence depend upon one’s status in the world, they are not so dependent upon one’s financial situation although realistically it is exceedingly costly to raise a child in today’s world. Creating this loving, patient and understanding atmosphere will permit the child’s creativity to flourish, freeing them from undue cares and concerns. Such children will then grow naturally into vibrant and resilient adults.

Through our work together in Triangles we help purify the density of the planetary atmosphere, creating conditions wherein parents and children can grow into their natural birthright.  As the consciousness expands, so, too, will the school systems, with new schools emerging that will begin to meet the rising need.  Parents will be empowered to step in and take more control of their children’s education, thereby securing that no only the atmosphere in the home will be uplifted but also the atmosphere in the schools and within society as at large..